I recently told my ex I never want to speak to him again.
I feel kind of free. We were together for a long time and I never expected, or wanted for that matter, to get to the point where I wouldn't want him in my life. But it's happened, and I'm rather happy about it.
He of course wasn't exactly pleased, but I honestly couldn't care less than I already don't. I realized that I was gaining nothing from the friendship.
And I just need to move the fuck on. We broke up in March and it was just stringing along like it always did. I don't think we would have gotten back together in the future (again), but the possibility of moving on completely and falling in love with another person wouldn't have been so readily available for me, I think.
I loved him a lot so letting go has been hard. Letting go of the future I'd envisioned and spent so much time wanting. Letting go of just the possibilities. The hardest part in letting go is knowing they could have happened if he'd have just grown up a little and let things happen.
But it doesn't matter now. Because now I have let go and am moving on. I've found someone that I care a lot about and hope it turns into something.
All this hope is making my face ache. xo